Day 92: Jonah Hex (2010): or, Jonah “Fricking” Hex, Because I’m Not British


I swear I am not a film snob. I swear it. I don’t only watch hip, independent films. I won’t pretend a movie is better if it comes with subtitles. I don’t subscribe to the notion that a film’s quality is inversely proportional to its budget. And I promise I won’t feign adoration towards a flick just because everyone else raves about it. While I do enjoy some of these films, I am equally prone to loving a blockbuster. Heck, sometimes I seek out “bad” movies because they are entertaining (either on purpose or inadvertently). This is why I put Jonah Hex on my queue. It looked like a good bad movie—complete with explosions, gun fights, and a Western/super hero theme. I mean, it sounds watchable, right? Wrong.

Keep reading…



Day 60: The Missing (2003)


Let me say upfront that I am sure most people will not agree with my review of The Missing. If the star rating system on Netflix is any indication (and it always is), people think this film is wonderful…or maybe it would be less of an exaggeration to say that people “like” this film and find it adequate. The people have spoken, I know, this film is supposedly above average. But I will let the cat out of the bag here– I didn’t like the movie. Now, my stunning powers of deduction would lead me to believe one of the following: (1) I am not a person. If people like it, and I don’t; therefore, how could I be a people? (2) The people are wrong. And I am right. End of story. (But this doesn’t really seem like me. I am pretty considerate of other people’s ideas…. maybe too much so). (3) Netflix made an error in calculating the rankings. No!! Well, I feel bad even saying that out loud. I know that can’t be right. Netflix is about as infallible as they come in my book. Or (4), I am a cranky reviewer. Sigh, my keen powers of deduction are hinting that option four is the most likely. I suppose step one is admitting I have a problem—or could I just admit that The Missing has a problem and say we are even?

Keep reading…



Day 37: The Burrowers (2008)


Ah, The Burrowers. What can I say about The Burrowers that hasn’t already been said? What, exactly?

 

The Burrowers was one of those films that just showed up in my queue. I have no idea how it got there. Maybe I was on a Clancy Brown kick and wound up adding a few of his films (I love me some Mr. Krabs, indeed I do). I had no idea what it was about (was I confusing this with The Borrowers?). All I know is that after watching The Burrowers, I feel a bit perplexed and a strong need to play some Red Dead Redemption.

 

Keep reading…